Top 10 Worse Plot Twist in Gaming

While the Mass Effect 3 controversy is finally starting to die down the effects of it will be long-lasting. Game narrative will be looked at and criticized even more closely in the future. Although no matter how much certain fans decree the ending to Bioware’s  epic trilogy the ending was certainly far from the worse of all time. So what possibly can be worse? Oh plenty. EXTREME SPOILERS ARE TO FOLLOW.

10.) Star Wars: Force Unleashed 2 – “The Clone Wars“

The first Force Unleashed was a flawed but fun, bloody trompe through the Star Wars universe. Ultimately everyone knew that for the game to be canon Starkiller couldn’t live, it was just logical. So when a sequel was announced my first thought was..how?

Well pretty much the first cutscene in SW:FU2 shows off how. HE’S BEEN CLONEDDDDDDD! Ugh, really? After that the whole story goes downhill into crap, but none of that really matters after you watch the game jump the shark in the first ten minutes. Not only does it trivialize both endings to the first game but makes Vader just look stupid. “I’ma just keep clonin’ Starkiller I’m sure he’ll come out deliciously evil eventually!”

It’s the video game equivalent of the Vader NO.

9.) Bionic Commando – “The Love Is In Your Hand“

So the bulk of the game revolves around the fact that Spencer is being used to eliminate a terrorist organization under the guise that he’ll get to see his wife again. However at the end of the game we find out that his sweet…awesome..bionic arm…

IS HIS WIFE.

This ending makes me cringe and laugh at the same time. They explain it away by saying that bionics must fuse with the user on an emotional and physical level so clearly the best way is to put someone’s soul into it. Someone that cares about the user. Except ya know, THAT’S NEVER BEEN MENTIONED IN THE GAME. So all those previous bionic users had people inside of them too right? No? Yea..didn’t think so. So unless his arm is ya know special, it just don’t makes sense. Had they alluded to it at all before the ending this twist may have been in the best column instead.

8.) Fallout 3 – “Don’t Worry Mutant I Got Diss“

So everything boils down to having to stop Project Purity from being activated but wait there’s one problem,the control is flooded with stupid lethal amounts of radiation. So either you or the adorable Sarah of the Brotherhood must take on the suicide mission to hit the lever. There is however, one giant problem with this.

YOUR RADIATION IMMUNE SIDEKICK.

Yo bro don’t stand there, say something. Offer to hop in and shut if off to spare two cute undisfigured faces from a life of well death. It’s a facepalm worthy decision on the behalf the developers. A life and death decision is always a major one in gaming but when it ignores the fact that there’s someone who can do it without dying, it’s just embarrassing. The Broken Steel DLC would eventually rectify this mistake but its something that’s not soon forgotten.

7.) Resident Evil 5 – “Oh Hey I Didn’t Recognize You With That Hood On.“

This one is just about the sheer lack of suspense. Before the game even came out it was known that Jill was the mysterious figure. Not even in like a slick deductive way either, like slap you in the face obvious way.

In fact this doesn’t even need to be explained. Wesker brainwashed Jill and the only one who doesn’t realize it……. is Chris. So by the time the mask and hood are revealed the only thing you can say is, “BORED”. I dare say this one almost doesn’t even count as a plot twist due its blatant obviousness.

In the future I can only hope and pray that Capcom learns to batten down the hatches on its plot and trailers. Resident Evil’s story ranges from fun to strange and the secrecy factor needs to come back. It’s hard to get excited about plot twists that have been spoiled months in advance.

6.) Crackdown – “It’s All Going According To Plan.“

Crackdown is one of the most over the top and fun sandbox games out there. You jump from rooftop to rooftop like The Tick and toss cars like The Hulk. And the best part was the story was lightweight enough to not get in the way of the slaying.

Destroy all the mobsters, gangsters and crime organizations in the city. Yes sir all over that!

But wait. It was all part of an elaborate plot to convince the city that they need The Agency. In fact The Agency was responsible for the rise of the gangs in the first place. And that’s not all, you’re going to take the success of this model world-wide to build a New World Order!

Wait…what?

You can’t give us a paper thin plot for 20+ hours and then try to throw in a M. Night Shamalyan style twist ending, nope no sir it doesn’t work like that.

5.) Infamous – “Yo Bro It’s Cool, It Was All Just A Test.“

So Cole is just a bike messenger who unwittingly brings about the destruction of the city. You are then mocked by the grand master of the whole scheme, Kessler. He even goes as far as to kidnap your girlfriend Trish and kill her. You finally track him down and have your endboss fight only to find out….

You are Kessler.

Well Kessler is you.

From an alternate timeline.

Where something called the “The Beast” is wreckin the planet. And you/kessler ran away with Trish, who you’re married to, only to still be killed by The Beast. So you err Kessler goes back in time to change everything so that your motivated to fight The Beast (which hasn’t even surfaced yet) before all is lost.

So let me get this straight. Cole from the future goes back in time to make Cole from the alternate past fight The Beast because it killed future Trish, by…KILLING TRISH? IT DEFEATS HALF THE PURPOSE OF GOING BACK IN TIME!

4.) FarCry – “There’s Something Else On This Island…“

Jake was hired by some hot reporter to get onto a mysterious secret island. Jake should have known better, but he doesn’t and gets his boat blown up. He washes up on the one of the prettiest islands ever and precedes to go all Chuck Norris on some mercs.

Everything’s going gravy until he comes across a lab. AND GETS ATTACKED BY SOME MONSTERS. The plot jumps from Delta Force to Island of Dr. Moreau so fast I didn’t even know what happened. Ya ya genetic experiments whatever whatever. All that matters is after that you get repeatedly jumped by ugly and annoying monsters for the rest of the game.

The plot thickens with some other crap involving mutant mercs, double cross’s, the CIA and an office in a volcano, pretty much every cliché possible. Either way its a grave departure from the mercenary soaked tale you think you’re embarking on.

3.) Final Fantasy VIII – “Hey Don’t I Know You?“

So Squall and crew fight through the game to end the life of Edea only to fail multiple times. You then find out that your ragtag crew of SeeD actually all know each other. That’s right you all use to live at the same orphanage and only forgot that because of repeated use of summons.

And oh yea Edea was the head of the orphanage. And she and Cid created SeeD.

By the way Edea was just being controlled by a powerful sorceress named Ultimecia.

It just makes no sense, it all just seems so senseless. At any given time Squall and crew could have killed Edea and no one said a word about it. Awkwarddddddddddd.

2.) God of War III – “All You Need Is Hope and Immortality“

So Kratos goes on a death mission then gets powers from his buddy Athena. Then continues his death race and accidentally kills Athena. This causes him to go full-out Postal on Mount Olympus. You get to the end finally kill Zeus, game over right?

NO! Cause Athena ain’t dead! And she wants the last ultimate power that was in Pandora’s box. /facepalm

But the ultimate power is hope. And Kratos has hope.

Yes the man who slaughtered everything in sight (including a power defenseless girl) has the power of hope. And he then stabs himself to give hope to all mankind. The mankind that he doomed to death when he destroyed every god on Mount Olympus.  /sigh

1.) Star Ocean: Till the End of Time – “That’s So Meta“

Star Ocean 3 was good, so good. The plot was going in the right direction and the characters were great. The crafting system was addictive and there was soooo much gameplay.

The game builds up as Fayt and his crew end up in the middle of a civil war on an underdeveloped planet.  They awaken some badass powers in Fayt and super crazy powerful beings called the Executioners show up and start wrecking everything. You find out that they are being controlled from another universe and that you must go there to stop it all. So you and your crew muster up for the ultimate suicide mission. You hold your breath as you wonder if the crew will be able to make it back after the mission. You finish all your affairs and side missions,  go through the portal and find out…

IT WAS ALL AN MMO.

YOU SPENT THE LAST 40 HOURS IN A FAKE EXISTENCE PROGRAMMED BY SOME GUY.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

AND THEN HE TRIES TO DELETE THE FAKE MMO UNIVERSE. BUT HE CAN’T BECAUSE NOW THAT THEY KNOW THEY’RE PROGRAMS THEIR SENTIENT AND YOU CAN’T DELETE LIFE AND SOMETHING LIKE THAT SO NOTHING CHANGES AND THEY GO BACK FOR A HAPPY ENDING EVEN THOUGH NOTHING REALLY HAPPENED CAUSE ITS ALL A GAME.

Worse. Plot. Twist. Ever. Nothing will ever top that. So the next time you think a plot twist comes out of nowhere just remember this.

At least it wasn’t a game. Inside of a game.